Some tension creeping in!

I could not sustain the beautiful start in the morning. By mid day, I had a deal to do live handwriting analysis (using a mic) in a big mall on a busy day! Wow, quit a deal. I was excited and nervous. I spent the rest of the day preparing a survey and making a small writeup for the action tomorrow.

Now I have not done live analysis for the last 4 years. Doing it in front of so many people, in a big mall sounds a little overwhelming. I know that I know only a quarter of what I used to know earlier. And I don’t remember any of the catchy phrases that I used to conjure while analyzing earlier. Not to mention, I used to analyze only in front of a small crowd of 10-20 people on an average. But I guess I am not tensed about this as much as I am about not having any money to pay my bills. This live analysis session is not gonna pay me anything. The deal we have struck is like this. I guess I should not worry about money so much. I feel the universe/God wants me to use this opportunity to create money for myself. Something will happen. By 15th Ill pay all my bills, and of course without borrowing it. Thats a promise I make to myself.

Ok, no more negative thinking. “Bimbiglio” this is the word that I use to challenge any negative thought. When ever I get a negative thought I challenge it and replace it with a positive one. The thought that I am replacing this negative pattern with is – “I’ll read Ray Walker, the whole book. Do 2 dummy analysis tomorrow. Go to the mall and have fun.”. Wow! I am already feeling excited. Yes, all I am gonna do tomorrow is have fun. Have fun and nothing else.

Ok, so there I go studying my Handwriting Analysis book.

I am assisting in the ‘SELP production team’ on Sunday! After all the fun I have tomorrow, I’ll have even more fun and learning the day after.

Now this is called Transformation!!!

Today I woke up by myself at 5 AM. Did the chores. Planned the day. Swept clean the house. Did Simpleology. But my stomach was aching at the exercise time. I chose to lye down for a while and proceed with my exercises. But instead of a short nap, it turned out that I slept of till 11AM. 

The previous me would have woken up, looked at the watch, said – ‘What the Fuck’, sulked and dozed of again believing that today is a waste. But what I did today shocked me . I woke up, said to myself – ‘ wow, the nap was so refreshing ‘, lazily looked at the watch, thought – ‘ I gotta have my breakfast soon, its still morning and I can still do my 3 meals a day.’ and made a resolution to be extra efficient today and give up my hobby and reading time in the night to cover up for the loss of time.

And thats it, I got up, ate corn flakes, gave a short call to a friend reminding her to attend a session on ‘Choice’ and here I am writing this quick post.

This is called transformation.

Incidentally today’s simpleology topic was about “Time, money and energy”.

Now I am better able to understand the SELP distinction called “There is no real reason”.